That's right, @.

...

As my first post of the new year (and decade), I thought that I would start things off with a bit of humor. Now, before you read this, understand that I really don't believe in "respect for the dead", as the dead are no longer here to witness the mockery (you may notice that some people on this list are not dead, but rather, should be). I will try to update this list as much as I can.

Let it be known that this is the first copy of this list to be released to the public. Please enjoy. :]

OBITUARIES 2009

Jared, the spokesperson of Subway is sent to prison for "Driving while Footlonged", as he was seen swerving in and out of lanes while searching the back seat for a footlong Subway sandwich. Coincidentally, Jared chokes to death on a "Five Dollar Footlong" while in jail.

Michael Jackson dies of a heart attack after being renamed as "King of Pedophilia".

As a result of Michael Jackson's renaming, Billy Mays is renamed as "King of Oximorons". He too dies of a heart attack upon hearing the news.

Patrick Swayze's head explodes after attempting to sing a double-octave high A sharp.

John Updike is murdered by his own made up character "Rabbit". Rabbit was never caught, as he does not exist.

Bill Gates dies from a "fatal error" of the brain (reports concluded that Mr. Gates saw the Blue Screen of Death before his final shut down).

NEXT IN LINE:

Bob Saget
Joan Rivers
William Shatner
Shelley Duvall

Also, please note that the "next in line" is no threat to the celebrities posted, rather an educated guess.

DOG-

*Skip this and get to the juicy parts if you don't want to be bored to tears*

Recently my computer (a MacBook) had a harddrive failure, so I lost all of my Flash 10 files. Naturally I was a little pissed, as I was working on a game (Game01.swf) with my brother. Well, I recently received a PC from my dad (one that he doesn't use anymore), and I wanted to get Flash onto it without having to buy it again. This is where the fun comes in.

*If you skipped that last bit, this is where you want to come back in ;)*

To do this, you must FIRST do the following:

Go to the start menu > my computer > local disk > windows > system 32 (I ASSURE YOU I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE YOU DELETE YOUR HARDDRIVE) > drivers > etc > hosts

When you get to this file, click on it and open it in Wordpad. Edit the last bit of the file (after everything else) to say "127.0.0.1 localhost
127.0.0.1 activate.adobe.com"

Download Flash, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, etc. and use a USED code.

A good website for USED serial numbers is Youserials.com. Keep in mind that while they say it is a "premium area", you CAN click on the background and select all, then copy it into wordpad and find the serial number you want to use. Also, keep in mind that some numbers will not work. For this part, persistence is key.

Enjoy your newly "registered" products. (always click register later if you get the screen asking for registration) ;)

Enjoy,
DOG-

EDIT: Due to a computer malfunction on my part, the game has been postponed. We will resume working on it once the problem is fixed (which shouldn't be very long). I am sorry that this has occurred, and unfortunately, if we cannot remedy the problem, some features may be changed, as version 5.5 was not published yet. We hope to fix this problem soon. ;)

Okay, I've said this a few times already, but I believe that my brother and I have finally hit something. We're both in love with "RPGs" (role-playing games). In fact, we're so in love with them that we have decided to make our own.

This project has already undergone a few stages. (I wanted to save this post until we were absolutely sure that this would be made.) Mainly 3. The first being the rough sketch, as is normal, the second being the more advanced, and the third being the alternative more advanced.

The name:
We have decided together that "Game01.swf" would be fitting name, as we don't really have anything that is specific about the game. We also thought it would be a nice parody of "tanksm.gif".

The game:
Naturally, the game will contain A LOT of parodies, courtesy of Tristan [1] [2]'s gifted comedic mind, as well as unlockables. The game will be centered around you, as "God". (No, not me.) You have the ability to use what you have around you at your will. You can take over people's minds, go to hell, create multiple "fused" items, grow ravenously carnivorous plants, and much, much more!

The gameplay:
Gameplay will consist of an inventory, cheats field, "score" (points accumulated through gameplay), and a (pretty big) map, with interactivity located around every corner. You will have the ability to control (almost) everything in the game.

The graphics:
The game will center around a two-dimensional "bird's eye" (much like the Pokémon games) view. Of course, viewing things like this means that the graphics will suck. As a remedy, we have added a box on to the right of the game to show the detailed version. This should increase the want to play the game, as you're not just stuck with - let's face it - shitty graphics.

We have produced a raw "BETA" of the game so far. Keep in mind that ALL graphics are temporary, and there is more stuff to come! I realize that the game so far has a few bugs, such as the "mouse bug" with the woodsword. Anyway, you can click here for the latest file. Enjoy our game so far!

The cheats:
The cheats list (remember,_all_spaces_should_be_ converted_to_underscores_ and_everything_should_be _in_lower-case):

-
-
-
-RESET codes-
reset_pos = self explanatory. (resets your map position)
reset_action = removes any actions that are occurring.

-PLUS codes-
plus_score = adds to your score.
plus_plus_score = adds more to your score.
plus_plus_plus_score = secret. Shh!

-MISCELLANEOUS codes-
pi = secret. Shh!
Cake or portal = secret. Shh!
alucard = secret. Shh!
tristan = secret. Shh!
sp, kenny, southpark or south_park = secret. Shh!
david = secret. Shh!
runescape = secret. Shh!
Zombie, zombies, or zombieland = secret. Shh!
tank = secret. Shh!
redrum or murder = secret. Shh!
9001 = secret. Shh!
shoop = secret. Shh!
fuck_you = secret. Shh!
@ = secret. Shh!

-GET codes-
get_woodsword = adds an unlimited number of woodswords to your inventory.
get_meat = adds an unlimited number of raw meat to your inventory.
get_cookedmeat = adds an unlimited number of cooked meat to your inventory.
get_firesword = adds an unlimited number of fireswords to your inventory.

-UNLOCK codes-
unlock_area51 = unlocks the unlockable Area 51.
unlock_ashpd or unlock_portalgun = unlocks the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.

-DROP codes-
drop_meat = drops meat (removed due to glitches)
drop_woodsword = drops woodswords (removed due to glitches)

-ACTION codes-
action_meat = auto-grabs raw meat from your inventory.
action_cookedmeat = auto-grabs cooked meat from your inventory.
action_woodsword = auto-grabs woodswords from your inventory.
action_firesword = auto-grabs fireswords from your inventory.

-GOTO codes-
goto_area51 = moves you to Area 51.
-
-
-

Well, that concludes this post. Thanks for reading, and when it comes out, enjoy Game01.swf!
--
Nano-Greth - Version 6.0 of Game01 due soon!
--
DOG-

I have semi-retired from Newgrounds. You all will miss me, I know. No cake for those who don't. ;)

Well, I have just cleared the entire list of users whom I had blocked either early this year, or late last year. Unfortunately, I had approximately 20 uses blocked. Well, here's your second chance if you were one of them! Try not to screw up. :D

Oh yeah, I almost forgot,
DOG-

If you would like to go to these games, just do what is said below:
Hard drive > applications > utilities > terminal > type "emacs" > press "esc" then "x" > type a game that you would like to play!

Here's a small list of games available:
Tetris
Dunnet
Pong, yes, pong!
Gomoku

For Tetris:
Press up, down, left, and right, to rotate and position the blocks. Press spacebar to drop the blocks immediately.
Downsides: Spacebar increases the drop speed slightly, the width and height of the blocks is off, so by rotating the blocks, they become out of proportion.

For Dunnet:
Type commands such as "put", "eat", "die" (if you want to lose), "climb", "dig", etc. to do various tasks! It's actually a lot more fun than it sounds.
Downsides: it takes a couple of minutes to get used to the commands, and there are no visuals, but it is incredibly fun none the less!

For Pong: 2 and 6 are player 1's controls, and the up and down arrow keys are player 2's controls.
Downsides: The ball and controls are slow, so getting used to the game is tough at first.

For Gomoku: The basic connect-5. Connect 5 "x"s and you win!
Downside: You never win. :P (computer = tough)

As well as games, the terminal acts as "command prompt" on a Windows computer. Probably the one command I know on the terminal/command prompt is "ping". Heh...

DOG-

I have this post here to explain a chatbox code that I have created.

Make sure that you private message me if you have any questions. I will reply. ;)

Here is the code (goes on the frame):

textboxrecord = "Welcome to the Chatbox!" + newline;
texttype = "";

sendbtn.onRelease = function(){
if(texttype == undefined){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
autokick.nextFrame()
}
if(texttype == ""){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
autokick.nextFrame()
}
if(texttype !== ""){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + username1 + ": " + texttype
texttype = ""
autokick.gotoAndStop(1)
}
};

Now, that's a long code, so I am going to take out the unnecessary bits of it.

Here's the edited one:

textboxrecord = "Welcome to the Chatbox!" + newline;
texttype = "";

sendbtn.onRelease = function(){
if(texttype == undefined){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
}
if(texttype == ""){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
}
if(texttype !== ""){
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + username1 + ": " + texttype
texttype = ""
}
};

Basically what I took out was the auto-kick, which can be added later on if wanted. I will try to provide a flash file without any password protected areas and secret information that my colleagues and I would not like released to the public. Anyway, here comes the long explanation, so pay attention. :)

Items that you need:
1 dynamic textbox with a variable of "textboxrecord" without the quotes.
1 input textbox with a variable of "texttype" without the quotes.
1 button with an instance name of "sendbtn".
For login/user-defined posts: 1 input text with a variable of "username1"
Keep in mind that while I provide some variables and instance names, you DO NOT need these, as you can always edit the code.

On to the explanation:

(you can use any of the codes above, or you can use this one with the explanations, if you like)

textboxrecord = "Welcome to the Chatbox!" + newline;
texttype = "";

sendbtn.onRelease = function(){
//the function that occurs on release of the button "sendbtn"
if(texttype == undefined){
//if texttype has nothing written in it and is not selected
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
//gives a message: "please enter a valid message."
}
if(texttype == ""){
//if texttype is selected but has nothing written in it
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + "ChatBox: Please enter a valid message."
//gives a message: "please enter a valid message."
}
if(texttype !== ""){
//if texttype has something written in it
textboxrecord = textboxrecord + newline + username1 + ": " + texttype
//this is the actual line of chat
texttype = ""
//this clears the typing field, making it easier to type new messages, and harder for spammers
}
};

I hope you guys enjoy. There's a screenshot of what you ought to have below. ;)

NOTES:

1. Remember that ALL CODES go on the frame!

2. If you want to add "autokick" to your chatbox, all you need to do is copy the first code, make a movieclip with an instance name of "autokick", and make three frames (inside the movieclip). On the third frame, add this code: "_root.gotoAndStop(2);" (without the quotes, of course!). Now, leave the movieclip and add a second frame to the Flash file. On this frame, all you need do is make an input and dynamic textbox (nothing written inside either one!), and on the frame, add this code: (SHIT! I can't find the code... I'll post it later. Just follow these steps, and if you're interested in the auto-kick feature, either come back in a few hours/days and I should have it. PM me if you like.)

-GOD

I have a list of (most) mods that I think are cool (nice, funny lock messages, funny in general, etc.)

Number one on the list: RageVI
Second: JadetheAssassin
Third: EyeLovePoozy
Fourth: Zerok
Fifth: Dry-Ice (for his funny messages when he bans me ;D)
Sixth: Jonas
Seventh: Luis

Uncool mods-
Number one on the list: Life (for saying that my list was gay)

-GOD

It took such a long time to think of a perfect chat code, but in the end, the time put in was worth it!! Now that the chatbox code is complete, you can all view it at either Nano-Greth, or SpamTheWeb.

All that we need now is a server to host that chatbox. So, after we figure out how to send information to servers (which shouldn't be too difficult), the chatbox will be FULLY functional. Since the chatbox is not online yet, most of the features are for show. ex: "users online", banning, kicking.

Have fun!
-GOD